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STEP 4: Email #4
Final Email to Team

The fourth step in planning a Rite of Passage is to finalize your plans with your team.  This is the last opportunity to make any changes to your plans, and this email will serve as a reference that your team can use during the weekend.

The text below is a sample email for you to copy and send to your group.  Please feel free to edit as you see fit.

To: All men attending the ROP weekend


When: 1 month before the ROP weekend


Subject: [Boy’s name]’s rite of passage weekend - Final Details and Itinerary 


Dear [blank],


I want to share the final details of [boy’s name]’s Rite of Passage weekend with the group, so you have all of the key information, like addresses, meeting times, responsibilities, etc.  I also want to give you an opportunity to ask any last minute questions that you might have.


We are making this up as we go along, and I don't want to over prepare, but I do want it to go smoothly with a natural feel to it.  What follows is not meant to be a rigid schedule, but instead a loose guideline for us to reference. 


  1. We will leave our home at 7:00 AM.

  2. Unbeknownst to [boys name], we will stop by Grandpas house and pick him up for the weekend

  3. The 3 of us will get in the car and continue the drive, and stop for breakfast at [predetermined location] at 9:00 AM

  4. [Rest of groups name] will already be at [predetermined restaurant], and will surprise [boys name] upon our arrival

  5. We will then explain to [boy's name] that we have prepared a ROP weekend for him to mark his entrance into manhood, without going into the details of the rituals.  We will eat breakfast as a group and hit the road after.  

  6. All of us will then drive to [location] where we will have lunch and a fun activity for the group to participate in.

  7. At about 4:00 PM, we head toward the cabin.

  8. At the cabin, we will have the entrance ceremony together at the front door before entering. [Man’s name] will lead the entrance ceremony.

  9. We will all gather a stick nearby about 18"-30" long before we enter the cabin.

  10. 2 men will take off their shoes and enter the cabin while the rest of us hand the luggage to them.  When all luggage is in the cabin, the rest of us will take off our shoes and enter.

  11. We will supervise [boys name] in getting a fire started in the fireplace.  

  12. [boys name] will decide who gets each bedroom, who cooks dinner for the night, and who cleans up dinner.

  13. We will unpack, cook dinner, eat, and clean up, following [boys name] directions.

  14. After dinner, we will gather near the fire and start the ‘what it means to be a man’ discussion. [Man’s name] will introduce and start the ‘what it means to be a man’ exercise.

  15. After each of us has shared and [boys name] has had the opportunity to ask questions, we will move on to sharing scripture.  [Man’s name] will start the scripture sharing exercise.

  16. After we have all shared scripture, I will present [the boy's name] with a personal heirloom that he can one day pass on to his future children.

  17. I will present [boys name] with the letters that the group has written to him, instructing him to read these whenever he would like to.

  18. I will remind [the boy's name] that we have to keep the fire going all night, so he should pick shifts for us to each take during the night to put a log in the fire.

  19. We will go to bed.

  20. We will wake up the next morning, cook breakfast and clean.

  21. We will once again gather around the fire and have the ribbon ceremony, where we share with him our positive and negative character traits. [Man’s name] will introduce and share first for the ribbon ceremony.

  22. We will pack up, extinguish the fire, and leave the cabin.

  23. We will conduct the final blessing outside of the cabin standing in a circle. [Man’s name] will lead the final blessing.

  24. We will get in the cars and drive home with an ETA of [time].

  25. We will gather for a homecoming birthday party at [location] starting at approximately [time].


Please let me know if you have any questions about the itinerary or see any potential issues.  I have also prepared a checklist for items that you will need to bring along the trip:


  1. Personal letter to [boys name]

  2. Ribbons marked with positive and negative character traits

  3. Scripture passage with comments about why you picked it

  4. Prepared to talk about ‘what it means to be a man’

  5. Clothes, Toiletries, personal items, etc

  6. Towel

  7. Sleeping bag

For your reference, I have also included the addresses of the breakfast spot and cabin below:


Address for Saturday breakfast spot: [address]

Address for Saturday fun activity: [address]

Address of the cabin: [address]

Thank you again for your participation in this event for [boys name].  This is the kind of thing that very few families ever have the guts to pull off because it is hard work and requires taking risks.  Your willingness to be involved in this, to be vulnerable in order to express your love for our next generation, speaks volumes about the kind of men you truly are.  You guys really make me proud.




[Your name]

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